The other day I got some work from the project and I did not want to do it (and not have time to do it) so I gave it to my boss, told him to find someone to do it.
The boss gave it to another guy with the instruction that he should ask me when he had questions.
I didn't feel comfortable having to "supervise" or "mentor" this guy, as I don't think I know enough. That's why I did not give the work to him directly in the first place.
I wasn't happy with such an outcome, therefore being not so helpful to the guy on purpose. It was not that I didn't want to help the guy, but that I was pissed with my boss.
And then I felt guilty, first because someone mentioning that I was so unkind to the guy (and it is true. The guy didn't know anything. It was the boss I should be mean to).
Secondly (but more importantly) the guy didn't get crossed at me or anyone. He kept doing what he could, didn't show that he was upset, disappointed or hurt. But I think he must have felt something.
Yesterday he asked if I could help checking his work, I said yes, but not so willingly. But today after seeing what he has done, I felt even more guilty. I should have been more helpful to him. May be I thought he did not work hard enough or did good enough work, but may be I am wrong about him.
I am sorry.
7:01 p.m. - Thursday, Apr. 24, 2003
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